Artic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not: Music



Well when I got this I was not sure if I was going to like it, and I was right, I bloody love it, although I am not sure if its going to be everybodys cup of tea.

It still gets me wondering about all the hype though, the press are talking about the quickest selling album, that all the exposure came from the internet and that they have had no TV publicity which is the main tool used by record companies to sell their bands. I thought there were loads of bands on the internet and the whole fact they haven't been on Top of the Pops has given them more plublicity, I mean even Jeremy Paxman talked about them on Newsnight. I bet we find out later on it has been some media moguls really clever plan. Even if it is, its a cracking album

France Elevates its Security Level

As many are aware, the French government recently announced a rise in its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The normal level is "General Arrogance", and the only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert: Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "Ineffective combat operations" and "Change sides". The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdain" to "Dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher levels: "Invade a neighbour" and "Lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from "Isolationism" to "Find another oil-rich nation for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "Attack random countries (ideally those without any credible military)" and "Beg the British for help".

The British are also feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the Great Fire of 1666.

Balderdash and Piffle

I watched a program on called 'Balderdash and Piffle' on the BBC the other night and an english school teacher discussed the word 'Nice', which was nice. Obviously english teachers hate the word because they say it doesn't mean anything, but if you look at the definition, it has absolutely loads of meanings and I actually like the word because of its docilety.

Nice

Snooping fears plague new iTunes

Oh yeah the devils software and the commander and chief, Steve Jobs have been critised because iTunes snoops into everyones pc and mac.

No it doesn't, does it, your not saying those bunch of funky americans that make normal PC's, paint them white and then sell them for an extra $500 are actually a bunch of capatalist snoopy bastards that want your money and soul.

To prove a point if you are on a windows PC, press control -alt-delete and select Task Manager then Processes, i bet you there is a sneaky bit of Apple software sending information about you to the ApplesFuhrer.

Taiwan breeds green-glowing pigs

Thought I would start of the first blog of the year with something really poignant, reflective and philosophical. Then I thought bugger that lets talk illuminous pigs!!!!!!

What a freakin brilliant idea, the Taiwanese think it will help study human disease, but I think they have compeltely missed the big picture. Just think its late at night and you want a bacon sandwich how much easier to make will it be if its bloody glowing , you could technically leave the lights off.

Think about how cool toad in the hole would be if the sausages were a nice glowing green. Cool or what